Jailed!
by Pelman
Summary: Rose and the Doctor are thrown into jail due to unfortunate circumstances involving a thing called "politics." Why does the jail have a smoothie-maker? Will Rose ever want to escape? And how much boredom can the Doctor endure? Find out now!
1. Jailed!

**A/N: **I was originally writing this for my series **The Doctor Who Knew Too Much** but it kind of took on a life of its own, and I thought it deserved its own posting. Because stories have feelings too you know. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** What's even the point of disclaimers anyway? I never understood them. It's like robbing a bank and then saying, "Oh, don't worry, I'm not making a profit off this- I'm giving all the money away." But, since it seems to be the thing to do... I do nae own Doctor Who!

* * *

**Jailed! **

Rose was not happy.

"This is all your fault!" she said, looking back and pointing her finger at the Doctor.

"Oh, I don't know," he said, stepping up and grabbing the bars in front of them. "Don't you think it's kind of exciting? First time getting thrown into jail and all that?" He raised his eyebrows alluringly.

Rose's angry mask slipped slightly, one corner of her mouth turning up.

"You are so weird!" she said, shaking her head with a smile. Then she grew stern again. "This is still your fault. Why'd you walk out of the store without paying?"

The Doctor looked pensive.

"I guess I just…forgot." He shrugged. "Still, I thought the Psychic Paper would do the trick."

Rose laughed in disbelief.

"It said, and I quote, that we were, 'Two dangerous criminals who must be dealt with'!"

"Hmm…yeah…." The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck. "Wasn't exactly the most helpful thing in the world, was it?"

Rose turned away from him, walking over and sitting on a bench built into the wall of their cell.

"What is my mum going to say?" she said, putting her head in her hands.

The expression on the Doctor's face became one of panic, no doubt imagining just WHAT Jackie would do once she found out who was responsible for getting Rose in jail.

He walked over to Rose and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry- I've seen plenty of situations like this on the telly. I know what to do."

He strode confidently over to the bars of their jail cell. Waving a hand to catch the attention of a passing constable he called out,

"Excuse me, kind sir. I believe I am allotted one phone call."

He winked at Rose. She giggled.

The constable stopped. The Doctor looked at him with self-assurance. The constable glanced at his watch, then sighed.

"Alright then. Be quick about it, though," he said in a bored voice, unlocking the cell door and leading the Doctor into the hallway.

As he was being swept off in the direction of the phone, something occurred to the Doctor.

He looked back.

"Rose, who should I call?"

There was a hint of desperation in his voice. Rose stood to answer but he was escorted out of sight before she could respond.

She went back to the bench and leaned her head back against the wall, waiting.

Lost in thought, it was several seconds before she identified the sound echoing throughout the cell.

It was ringing.

Rose sat up. "He wouldn't have…" she said to herself.

Then she cut herself off. "He WOULD have!"

She rushed over to the door of the cell, looking out at the desk where she and the Doctor's personal belongings had been stored. They had been taken away during their initial processing at the station.

The ringing was coming from the desk. Then it stopped.

A short time later, the Doctor was escorted back into the cell, smiling a little nervously.

Rose looked at him.

"You called me." It wasn't a question.

The Doctor didn't say anything. There seemed to be a spot on his sneakers that needed examining.

Rose took a step closer. "You called ME! Even though you knew my phone got taken away when we got here!" She threw her hands in the air. "What am I going to do with you?"

"It was instinct!" the Doctor said defensively. "You don't know what it's like out there! They all stare at you, like you've done something wrong." He sounded affronted.

"You did do something wrong, Doctor!" Rose shouted.

"Well, not really…I mean, it was just…circumstances." He scratched his head.

"Well, the circumstances right now are we're still stuck in here and you've completely wasted our only phone call!"

By this point Rose was about an inch from the Doctor's face. The close distance meant she immediately noticed the change in his expression.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked.

Rose stepped back, a smile appearing on her own face. "Doctor, why are you smiling?"

He looked at her, his grin now reaching magnificent proportions, and said in a sing-song voice, "I've got my sonic screwdriver."

Rose put a hand over her mouth to stop her laugher.

"What? But didn't they take it from your pocket?"

The Doctor stuck his hands in said pockets and struck a nonchalant pose.

"I guess they didn't dig deep enough," he said, then pulled his sonic screwdriver out of his right pocket. "Ta da!"

Rose ran over and gave him a hug. After a short moment she drew back, her smile dimming bit.

"But that still doesn't help us." She began pacing. "They've got our fingerprints. We're in the system. Breaking out now would just put us on the run." She turned and looked at the Doctor.

"I like to run," he said.

"Doctor!" Rose took a step towards him threateningly.

"Just kidding!" The Doctor held his hands up defensively. "Still, you're right," he continued. "We need some plan that will stop them from remembering we were ever here." He tapped the sonic screwdriver thoughtfully against his chin.

"Can't you just erase their memories or something?" Rose asked.

"No," the Doctor said, walking over to the cell door, "You're confusing a sonic screwdriver with a neuralyzer." He bent down and began running the sonic screwdriver over the door's locking mechanism. He went on. "And a neuralyzer's not even a real device! It's from a movie." The Doctor spun around to look at Rose. "Someone's been watching too much science fiction," he said, waggling his sonic screwdriver at her.

"Like you're one to talk!" said Rose, "You're practically a science fiction show in yourself!"

The Doctor ignored her and turned the sonic screwdriver back to the lock. "Ha ha!" he shouted triumphantly as it clicked free. The Doctor opened the door and turned to Rose. "I'm afraid we'll have to do this the old-fashioned way," he told her with mock chagrin. "Follow me!"

Smirking, Rose stepped out after him, giving him a slight push forward.

After picking up their stuff from the desk, the Doctor led Rose a short distance down the hallway. Then he peered around a doorway. Rose crouched beneath him, humming the James Bond theme song softly. The Doctor glared at her.

"Sorry," she whispered. "Seemed appropriate."

The room they were looking into was almost empty. A man sat in front of a computer at the far end of it, headphones in ears.

"Okay," the Doctor said, "I need access to that computer."

Rose looked up at him. "And you need me to distract that bloke?"

The Doctor looked down. "You'll go far in prison," he intoned.

Laughing, Rose got up and entered the room. "Still your fault!" she whispered back to the Doctor.

The Doctor waved her on.

From his position behind the door frame he watched as she tapped the man on his shoulder. He spun around, startled. From this distance the Doctor couldn't quite make out what Rose was saying, but it seemed to involve a lot of gesturing. Suddenly, the man jumped out of his chair and made for the door. The Doctor drew back in what he hoped was a casual position against the wall, but the man didn't even glance at him as he continued down the hallway at break-neck pace.

Rose stood there with a smug expression on her face as the Doctor sauntered into the room.

"What did you say to that poor fellow?" he asked, glancing back towards the hallway.

"Trust me," Rose said, crossing her arms, "You don't want to know."

The Doctor thought for a moment, then nodded.

"You're probably right." He stepped over to the computer. Putting his glasses on, he used the sonic screwdriver to access the computer's main database. For several moments the room was silent except for the sound of keys clacking.

"There!" the Doctor said, leaning back from the computer.

Rose leaned over his shoulder. "Did you do it?"

"Yup. We are officially erased from the database." He stood up and offered his arm to Rose. "Shall we make good our escape?"

She smiled at him and locked arms. "We shall."

As they walked out of the room, Rose gave a fleeting look in the direction of their cell. Then she turned to the Doctor.

"Next time I'm doing the shopping," she said.

The Doctor pursed his lips. "That's probably a good idea."

Arm in arm they walked out of the jail and on to their next adventure.

* * *

_I had a lot of fun writing this. I think my favorite line is, "You'll go far in prison." It just cracks me up everytime I read it. Is that weird? Anyways, I might turn this into a series, with each chapter having the Doctor and Rose (or some other companion) breaking out of some location. Let me know what you think!_


	2. Bait!

**Bait!**

"I smell like horses."

Rose had a disgusted look on her face.

She and the Doctor were sitting with their backs against a dusty wooden wall.

"Well that makes sense," the Doctor said, picking up a piece of straw from the many that were liberally spread across the floor and twirling it between his fingers. "From the looks of it, this place usually serves as a barn." He stretched out his hand towards Rose.

"Straw?"

"You're too kind," said Rose, taking it absentmindedly. She looked at the Doctor thoughtfully.

"That actually makes sense," she said. "They seemed like such peaceful people—at least in the _small_ amount of time we spent with them." She gave the Doctor an accusing look.

"What?" he said, leaning away and raising his hands up, the picture of wounded innocence. "I didn't do anything!"

His guiltless countenance was somewhat weakened by the fact that the barn they were currently in also served as a jail cell. Iron bars partionioned off the corner in which Rose and the Doctor were sitting.

Rose laughed in complete disbelief. "Didn't do anything!" she said, standing up and looking down at the Doctor, outraged.

"I didn't!" he said.

"You opened that box! Remember, it was about yea high and yea wide?" she asked, gesturing angrily with her hands.

Now the Doctor stood up, defensive. "I was just trying to help. They said it had been closed for millennium!"

Rose rubbed her forehead and groaned. "So of course you had to try and open it."

"I thought they'd be grateful!" said the Doctor, hurt.

"Oh, is that why we did it in the middle of the night?" Rose asked.

The Doctor chuckled weakly. "It was supposed to be a surprise?" he said.

Rose raised her eyebrows at him.

The Doctor turned away in defeat. "Oh all right," he said, "I was curious- and you were too." He turned back to Rose with a grin.

Rose looked at him as if he had grown two heads. "Not _that_ curious," she said, crossing her arms. "You're not going to pass any of the blame onto me!"

The Doctor kept grinning at her.

"Doctor?" Rose said, slightly less secure.

He kept grinning, now also raising his eyebrows beguilingly.

Despite herself, Rose began to grin back. "Oh, come on," she said, trying to remain firm, "You can't seriously blame me for any of this!"

The Doctor looked at her sympathetically. "You held the torch," he said, shrugging his shoulders and looking disappointed. "Sorry."

Rose shook her head and started to laugh. The Doctor laughed too.

"Seriously, though, it was just a box," he said, "There wasn't even anything in it!" He frowned. "I was right disappointed about that, too. Anyways, I don't see what they were so angry about."

Rose gave the Doctor an incredulous look. "They think we've unleashed Armageddon!"

"Eh," the Doctor scoffed. He began pacing the borders of their cell. "If there's going to be Armageddon you might as well go and get it over with." The Doctor stopped his pacing, a bewildered look on his face. "Come to think of it, what sort of people keep a box around that's capable of unleashing Armageddon? It's completely mental!"

"Humans," said Rose, watching him amusedly.

This stopped the Doctor's monologue. He looked at Rose, puzzled. "But they're not human."

Rose shoved her hands in her pockets and shrugged. "I was just saying it before you could."

But the Doctor wasn't about to be brought off task. He went up to the bars keeping them locked in and wrapped his hand around one, scuffing the dirt floor with his feet. "This is gratitude for you," he muttered.

Rose watched him for a moment, then stepped beside him and clapped her hands together briskly. "I don't know about you, but I don't plan on spending any longer in this place than I have to. We need a plan."

The Doctor's face brightened at this thought. "A plan?" he echoed.

"Yep," said Rose, "Let's list our assets."

"Assets," said the Doctor gravely. He smirked. "My, aren't we fancy today."

"I heard it in a movie, okay," Rose said defensively.

The Doctor shook his head in resignation. "You really do watch way too many movies," he said.

Rose glared at him.

"Okay, okay," the Doctor said, holding his hands up in surrender. He turned around and looked over their cell. "We've got…our clothes."

"Our clothes. Brilliant! I couldn't have thought of that!" Rose smacked the Doctor on his shoulder.

"Hey," the Doctor said, pointing a finger at her, "This was your idea."

This made Rose pause. "Actually," she said, looking around, "That's pretty much all we've got." She started to look worried.

The Doctor slipped his hand into hers. "Well, there's my brains," he said importantly. Rose gave him a look. "And your…ingenuity!" the Doctor hurriedly added.

"And my general all around greatness," Rose said, getting into the spirit of things.

"And my wheelbarrow!" The Doctor was carried away by this new diversion.

"I think you're thinking of The Princess Bride," Rose told him.

"Right, sorry," the Doctor said, but he didn't look sorry in the slightest. Both he and Rose were grinning at each other. He led Rose to the corner of their cell and pointed to the guard standing just outside the barn door.

"The way I figure it," the Doctor said, "It'd be easiest to somehow get 'Mustache' over there to open the cell door. Then we overpower him and make our daring escape." He rubbed his hands together eagerly.

Rose craned her neck to see the guard. "Can't it be 'dashing'?" She glanced at the Doctor. "We did 'daring' last time."

The Doctor considered this for a second. "Okay, 'dashing' it is then!" He gave the guard another glance and then drew Rose closer, whispering the plan to her.

The guard stood in the afternoon sun. A beautiful day like this and he was stuck guarding a couple of loonies. At least until the Council decided what horrible punishment they should suffer for opening the Sacred Box of Peroicon. Serves them right, too! Keeping him cooped up like this…The guard's train of thought was interrupted by voices coming from inside the barn.

"I don't feel so good."

"Rose? Rose, what's wrong?...You're burning up."

With a sigh, the guard walked into the barn. Inside, the man was leaning over the girl, looking worried. He noticed the guard and ran over to the bars.

"Hey! Hey! I need help. My friend, she's really sick." He was waving his arms and shouting frantically.

The guard continued walking over. They didn't pay him enough for this. "Seemed fine a minute ago," he said unenthusiastically.

The man was practically ripping his hair out. "No, really, I think she's dying." His face was grave; his tone pleading.

The guard sighed and shook his head. "Nice try, pal. I'm not opening that door." He turned to walk away.

The prisoner made a futile attempt to break through the bars. "Why you-! Uh-"

The Doctor grunted and grabbed his chest. He stumbled against the bars, doubled over, and dropped to his knees.

"Doctor?" The previously dead and dying Rose Tyler sat up and looked at the Doctor worryingly. "Doctor!" She ran over to where he lay writhing on the dirt floor.

The guard turned back around, uncertainty in his eyes.

Rose knelt down. The Doctor's eyes were clenched shut. "Come on, come on," she said. Rose slapped his cheek, trying to make him alert. She whirled on the guard, now standing frozen in front of the scene. "What did you do to him?" she asked accusingly, tears starting to form in her eyes.

The guard was worried. He had been specifically warned to keep these two alive. Why did things like this always happen to him? Looking at the man moaning on the floor and the girl bending over him, he made up his mind. "Move back," he told Rose gruffly. She stared at him in disbelief, understanding only dawning when he pulled out his ring of keys. She scooted to the back of the cell. The guard unlocked the cell door. He stepped in and bent down over the Doctor. Then he leaned closer. "Hey! He's smil-"

The guard's exclamation was cut off as the Doctor's hands shot up, wrapping around his neck. After a few more seconds, the guard toppled, out cold.

"Carotid arteries," the Doctor said, springing up. "A bit of pressure and *bam*- out like a light."

Rose was staring at him as if she'd seen a ghost. Finally, with teeth clenched, she spoke, "Funny, I don't remember you mentioning that part of the plan."

"Didn't I? Sorry." The Doctor still didn't appear the least bit sorry.

Rose now looked as if she was going to strangle the Doctor with her bare hands.

"Oh, come on!" he said, going over to her and putting his hands on her shoulders. "You've got to admit, that was a *classic* bait and switch." He looked at her hopefully.

There was a long pause. Then Rose reluctantly broke into a smile. She shook her head and laughed helplessly. "The look on the guard's face when you moved- classic!"

The Doctor beamed. "You weren't so bad yourself, you know. Nearly had me fooled!" He grabbed Rose's hand. "Shall we make our daring escape?" he asked, beginning to lead her out of the cell.

"Uh, uh," said Rose, shaking her finger, "Remember- dashing!"

The Doctor stopped and slapped his forehead. "How could I forget? Dashing it is then." They started walking again.

"Oh, and Doctor?" Rose said.

He stopped again. "Yes?"

Rose looked up at him. "The next time we find ourselves near boxes that shouldn't be opened, or buttons that shouldn't be pushed…try to control yourself, yeah?"

The Doctor sighed and shook his head. "You know me…"

Rose laughed. "Yeah," she said happily, "I do."

And with that they dashed out of the barn, past the startled farmers and townspeople, and into the safety of the TARDIS.

Where they would journey onwards to their next adventure.

* * *

_Ah, the long awaited sequel to Jailed! Let me know which parts you liked and which parts you didn't. And remember- the next time you need to escape from somewhere, it's important to consider whether you want to make a 'daring' escape or a 'dashing' one! Because they're different, you know._


	3. Accommodate!

**Accommodate!**

The Doctor and Rose stepped out of a tall building. At one time it had probably appeared grand, but now the marble was discolored, the windows were grimy, and the door had a jagged hole in it.

Rose looked slightly shell-shocked.

"There were roaches in there the size of my head!" she said, to no one in particular.

The Doctor tilted his head and winked. "Won't find those in too many parts of the universe."

Rose looked at him as though he was insane.

The Doctor nudged her and bounced on his heels. "Oh, come on. It's part of the experience!" He spread his arms out toward the brand new world they had landed on last night.

Rose groaned. The Doctor _always_ did this. It was like he had an 'unpleasantness' radar. They could be on Planet Happy and _he_ would find the one repulsive thing on the entire world. But what did he say when she complained? '_It_'s _part of the experience.' _

Rose could do an impressive whiny Doctor voice in her head.

"I would've liked to have 'experienced' some sleep," Rose said, looking at the Doctor pointedly. He seemed to be staring at a spot just over her shoulder. Rose sighed. "On that thought, can we please sleep in the TARDIS tonight? 'Cause I'm pretty sure the local culture over there tried to experience me!" She pointed back at the hotel and shuddered.

The Doctor still didn't respond. She had just enough time to look up at him, puzzled, before he grabbed her hand.

"Rose—RUN!"

Startled, she jolted into motion, following him down the street, risking a quick glance back to see what they were running _from_. Two people in some sort of black uniform were running towards them, their size reminding Rose of the Slitheen.

They did not look friendly.

And then Rose was on the ground, wondering how she got there, before she looked up into the faces of two more scary people, also dressed in black. The Doctor was on the ground next to her.

_Oh, bugger_, she thought.

* * *

*CLANG*

The solid steel gate slammed shut on the Doctor and Rose, trapping them in the compound. They stood there for a moment, staring at the giant metal doors. Then they turned to each other.

"Can't blame me for this one," the Doctor said, jumping in before Rose had a chance to speak.

"Can't blame me either," Rose hastily added.

"Fine."

"Agreed."

That settled, they moved out to explore the rest of the compound.

* * *

Rose and the Doctor set out down one of the long hallways in the place. The walls were completely white and the floors tiled. Rose felt like they were in a hospital. She half-expected the Doctor to start complaining about the lack of a little shop.

They had only been walking a short time when another prisoner stepped out of a doorway. He was bald and wearing a skull cap, and had numerous ear and nose rings. "What are you in for?" he asked. Oddly enough, his accent was Scottish.

Rose and the Doctor glanced at each other.

"Uh…well, nothing, really," the Doctor said, scratching the back of his head.

"Makes a change from the usual," Rose said under her breath, smirking.

The Doctor pretended he didn't hear her.

Their new acquaintance appeared quite willing to take them at their word. "My name's Tyler." He leaned closer and said in a low voice, "I got put in here 'cause of the conspiracy."

Rose and the Doctor both folded their arms and peered closer.

"What conspiracy?" Rose asked, her voice hushed as well.

"Exactly," Tyler said, tapping the side of his nose and nodding his head. "Exactly." He began backing away from them.

Rose looked at the Doctor, barely suppressing a laugh. Apparently nut jobs were in all parts of the universe. The Doctor, however, was rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Tyler," he called out suddenly, "Do you know _why_ they put us in jail?"

Tyler stopped. "Course I do!" He sounded upset that the Doctor would question his knowledge. "I know everything there is to know about alien politics."

The Doctor stepped closer. "Tell us more."

* * *

"This entire city is mad!" Rose declared, throwing her hands in the air.

Rose and the Doctor were back on the outer edge of the compound, standing right next to the giant concrete wall that surrounded the entire prison complex. They had only just managed to escape Tyler, who had become completely enamored with the Doctor. "I pledge my life to you, Doctor," he had said, getting on his knees. "And my family's lives, and my friend's lives (if I had any), and my alien-babies' lives..."

The Doctor watched Rose's irritation with a trace of amusement. "Whatever works," he said, shrugging.

Rose looked at him. "They can put you in jail for NOTHING!" she said, "I mean, literally nothing!"

"Yeah," the Doctor agreed, a wry expression on his face, "But they can't keep you for very long!" He became more thoughtful. "Really," he said, warming to the idea, "the situation is ingenious. The more people they jail, the more funding the city gets. The more funding, the better the city can provide for its people. Everyone wins!" He spread his arms wide and grinned at Rose, waiting to see if she would grin back.

"THEY PUT YOU IN JAIL!"

Apparently not. The Doctor decided not to press. "Suit yourself." He walked up to the wall and started examining it. "There's got to be a way out of here." He looked up and down the perimeter. "There's not even any guards! All they have is _this_." He kicked at the wall.

"Well," said Rose, gesturing impatiently at the Doctor, "You and the wall stay here and get comfy. I'll be back in a bit." She turned around and started walking away.

"Alrigh-wait, where are you going?" the Doctor said, doing a double-take.

Rose began walking backwards. "I've got to find a loo! I'll be back soon!" She disappeared around the corner and out of sight.

The Doctor kicked the wall again. "Humans," he said, shaking his head, "Bladders the size of peas."

* * *

Rose was walking back to where she had left the Doctor when she saw a large group of people heading down a hallway. Curious, she followed behind them and peeked into the room they entered.

In it, she saw many other people talking and laughing, all of them sipping drinks. In the center of the room was a long table with a magnificent spread of food.

It was a dinner party.

In jail.

Rose smiled with delight and walked into the room.

* * *

_Finally. _The Doctor could hear Rose's voice coming from the room ahead. He had been searching the compound, trying to find out where she went. He burst into the room, grinning madly and holding his sonic screwdriver out in front of him like a talisman. His eyes swept over the crowd before alighting on Rose.

"Rose! I've got it! We can escape!" He leaned backwards, slapping his forehead. "Ooohh- it was so simple! All we have to do is disconnect the circuit at the central rotation and-Bam!- the sequences twist free." He grabbed Rose's arm and began dragging her towards the door. "Ha! Let's go!"

Rose broke free of his grip and stopped. "No."

The Doctor smiled uncertainly. "What?"

Rose looked at him firmly. "I don't want to go. I'm having fun here." She gestured at the people standing around them. The people now staring with great interest at the drama unfolding before their eyes.

The Doctor opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. He looked at Rose helplessly. "What?"

The Doctor had been reduced to a one-word vocabulary.

Rose sighed. "If we leave now, we're just gonna end up back in that bug palace that calls itself a hotel."

In front of the Doctor, several people murmured. Apparently Rose had been telling tales about his choice of accommodations.

Rose's eyes narrowed. "So thank you very much- I'm staying here." She crossed her arms.

Tyler walked over and rubbed his hands together. "This should be good."

"Not the time, Tyler," the Doctor said in a strained voice. Very calmly, he put a hand on Rose's shoulder. "Rose—a word." Very, very calmly, he walked her out of the room and into the hallway.

They got out of sight. The Doctor turned to Rose.

"Whatdoyoumeanyoudontwannaescape?" he hissed. He paused, composing himself. Speaking very slowly, as though to a child, he gestured around them. "This is a jail." He looked at Rose's face to see if she was getting it. "We're supposed to escape from it." He used his hands to mimic a person running.

Rose looked at him, and then spoke back. She also talked very slowly and loudly. "They're going to let us go in the morning."

The Doctor drew back. Rose could be far too sarcastic at times.

"That's not the point," he muttered sheepishly.

Rose rolled her eyes, then took him by the arm and led him to the doorway. "See Mr. Blutter over there?" she asked. She pointed to a stout, white-haired man dressed in a tweed jacket. Rose went on. "He _deliberately_ gets arrested each evening because this place has comfier beds than his home. He's been in 35 nights running."

Mr. Blutter noticed them and walked over, giving the Doctor a friendly wave. "Hullo! Rose told me all about your troubles finding appropriate housing-I'd be more than happy to point out the best beds in this place." He leaned in conspiratorially. "I've slept in every one!"

The Doctor's eyes widened. "Go-go back to your corner," he spluttered, shooing Mr. Blutter away. Was every person in this place mad? He turned back to Rose and drew himself up, speaking in his most authoritative, nine hundred years old, Time Lord voice. "Rose, we're LEAVING."

* * *

It was later. They had not left.

* * *

The Doctor was sitting in the corner, arms on knees, a dejected look on his face. Rose walked by. He stuck his legs out to block her path. "Can we escape now?"

Rose bent down and gave him an incredulous look. "Doctor! The karaoke contest isn't finished!"

"Ah, silly me," the Doctor muttered. It seemed that Rose's cheerfulness was increasing in direct proportion to his annoyance.

Rose stood up. "You're just grumpy cause they boo'ed you off the stage." She patted him on the head. "You may be a Time Lord, Doctor, but you can't sing."

The Doctor threw his head back against the wall and groaned.

* * *

The Doctor had gone out in the hallway in an effort to escape the increasingly…exotic music being sung. But now he had to face an altogether different kind of torture:

Tyler.

"I've been in jail before," Tyler told the Doctor. He was apparently under the impression that the Doctor wanted to hear his complete life story. In excruciatingly minute detail. "Yeah. Couple of Venusians hijacked me from Earth and locked me up." Tyler looked thoughtful. "Then they stole me brain."

The Doctor put his head between his hands. "Tyler, I told you- go away!"

"Yes, Master," Tyler said, "I am unworthy to be in the presence of one such as you." He started to leave.

The Doctor looked up. Sometimes you had to take what you could get…

"…Fine," the Doctor said. "You can stay."

* * *

Tyler had finally left (after working up to the time in his life when he had spent a year traveling Middle-Earth with Gandalf) and now the Doctor was lying on one of the beds in the compound. If Rose was going to refuse to escape then he might as well try and have a relaxing nap. He bounced up and down slightly, testing the mattress's firmness.

Hmm. It _was_ comfy.

The Doctor was just starting to drift off when…

"Smoothie!" Rose jumped in the room brandishing two large cups.

"Ahhhhh!" The Doctor fell off the bed. From the ground he looked up and grimaced. "Rose." He sat up and rubbed his face with his hands. "And where did those delicious drinks come from?" He plastered an incredibly fake smile on his face.

Rose had apparently taken her anti-sarcasm medication. "Smoothie-maker!" she said cheerily.

The Doctor looked at the cups and hesitated. Then he looked at Rose. "I like smoothies," he said in a small voice.

"I know."

Rose gave him an encouraging grin and handed him one of the cups. Then she left the room.

The Doctor looked at the smoothie. Maybe this night wouldn't turn out to be so bad after all… He took a large sip.

"Pear!"

* * *

After cleaning out the prison infirmary of its entire supply of mouthwash, the Doctor finally got to the point where he could swallow again.

Now he was wandering the hallways, wondering if it was worse to die from boredom or from poison, when he heard a familiar voice coming from a nearby room.

"Alright, boys, five card stud, nothing wild, and sky's the limit."

Taken aback, he stuck his head in the doorway.

And saw the casino.

Green-covered tables, slot machines, bright flashing lights, music, plastic plants, the works.

The universe never ceased to amaze the Doctor.

He looked around for the owner of the voice. "Rose…ROSE?" Rose was sitting at a nearby table, dealing out cards to a group of much older, much rougher-looking individuals. The Doctor looked closer. A large stack of local money was piled up in front of her.

The other players had much smaller piles.

"Oiy, Doctor!" Rose nodded her head towards the table. "Want me to deal you in?"

The Doctor became aware that his mouth was wide open. He ran his hand through his hair. "Where-where did you even get any currency?" he asked in disbelief.

Rose gave him a wink. "I've got my connections."

* * *

After watching Rose empty the pockets of every patron in the casino, the Doctor was back in front of the gates where all the trouble started. His hands gripped the bars, and he gazed longingly into the distance.

He leaned forward hesitantly. Was that…? The Doctor squinted his eyes. It was! The first ray of light had just peeked over the horizon.

He ran back into the compound, retracing his steps until he found the room where he had left Rose. He charged into it, looming over her.

"ROSE…WE'RE…LEAVING!"

The night had not been kind to the Doctor.

Rose looked at him for a long moment, then shrugged. "Okay."

* * *

After the long, long night, the Doctor and Rose were finally walking back to the TARDIS. As soon as the Doctor caught sight of it, he broke into a run, reaching the TARDIS and hugging as much of it as he could reach.

Rose caught up to him.

"I hate prison," the Doctor said solemnly, his face still mashed against the TARDIS.

Rose gave a little skip. "I like prison!"

The Doctor straightened up and scoffed. "You would." He opened the door and disappeared inside.

Rose stood there, staring at the open door. "What's that supposed to mean?" She followed after him, her voice suspicious. "...Doctor, what's that supposed to mean?"

* * *

_Yay! It's done! This was one heck of a difficult chapter to get finished. But I finally did- I hope you enjoy the result!_

_The character _Tyler _actually comes from the British sitcom _My Hero_. I tried to describe him well enough that you needn't have watched the show to find him funny. And if you've ever wanted to watch a show about a superhero named Thermo-Man and his misadventures with humans, well, now's your chance. As an added bonus, the main actor (who plays Thermo-Man) also played _Brannigan _in the Doctor Who episode _Gridlock. _Of course, he was a giant cat at the time..._


End file.
